Having an alternative way of life doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact some people, whom I have had the pleasure of meeting, who had careers that some people may truly question were some of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met. Some of the most honest conversations I think I have had have been with adult film stars. No I am not kidding you here. I have spoken with priests, ministers, monks and on down the line, but the most honest conversations were probably with a couple of different x rated actresses.
When I first met Charlie (also know as Willow) I had no idea she was working in the porn industry. I was up in Portland for 6 weeks helping out a friend’s business when I met her and we set up a photo shoot. We strolled around the North West district, taking simple photos and talking a lot! She talked about her mother, her grandmother, her heritage and how she really liked the work she was doing. When I asked about her work she just flat out said, “I do porn.”
I don’t know what she thought of my reaction because I just said something like, okay, that’s cool. I have had many friends in the adult industry and this was not my first meeting with an adult actress. I met Jenna Jameson at a wedding back in 2010! But that is another story.
Charlie and I kept on walking, talking and taking some photos. We walked a lot and decided to head on over to St. Johns to stroll around there. As we kept talking (as she was driving) I kept taking some photos. It was a very natural and easy photo shoot. I can honestly say it felt like we were old friends just hanging out. We walked more, didn’t take any photos for a while because we were just talking about life, how people will view you differently based on what you do. I get judged all the time for saying I am spiritual or a reverend yet I am constantly around nude people! Including this post of me photographing a porn actress, I’m sure I’ll hear something about it from someone.
There were things I could tell she wasn’t happy about and if things didn’t turn around she would probably find a different career path, which I think she has now. But it was just honest. No bullshit. No fluff. Just her honest feelings about life, love, relationships, family connection and so much more. Honestly I learned so much about her that day that I don’t feel comfortable talking about all of it because it was so personal. She was an open book, and it wasn’t anything to make you feel sorry for her or anything like that. It was simply the truth.
It was really refreshing to meet her and work with her. Many times I have looked at the contacts in my phone and wondered if I should reach out to her just to see how she is doing. She is a good spirit and a very nice person. She may use her youthful appearance to her advantage, but she is wise beyond her years. When you meet someone like this you wish them nothing but the best and you also realize that their different perspective on life may not be how you see things, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that these views are right or wrong.
I know some people won’t understand and they won’t want to understand. But I truly believe that we need to look at people who have an alternative lifestyle and accept that these people are good people. We must stop repressing people from who they really are. If you’re into sex that it awesome! If you’re into carving wood that is awesome! You do not get to choose what someone else is into and you don’t get to decide if it is wrong if they are not hurting anyone else.
This is why I don’t believe in guilt. Or I should say why I don’t believe in forcing guilt onto another. Our society has a very hypocritical way of judging others. If you do it, it is okay, but if someone else does it, well they are going to hell. Self judging and self rationalizing what you do and then saying that someone else doing it is wrong is just stupid, not just hypocritical but really stupid.
One reason I bring this up is because many years ago I met a very well known minister. He traveled all over the world spreading the word of Christ, building churches, helping many people. But he was also one to condemn porn stars, strippers, nude models and the people who worked with them all. This was a sin and immoral he would say. This was the downfall of society and people need to show respect for themselves and for the body God had given them and he would go on and on.
One day I was in his den, we were looking for the remote to the TV and I moved the little table next to his lounge chair and the door to it opened. Inside was a stack of some serious fetish porn! People sticking things in all places, choking, tied up, spanking and more. I just kind of laughed to myself, but he was livid! How dare I go through his things, he started accusing me of looking for something to make him look bad and much more defensive behavior. I never told anyone who he was or what he had. As I left I told him I didn’t judge him for it, I told him it was okay and that it was probably a good release for him.
You see, just because someone preaches against something, doesn’t mean they are right. You need to make these decisions for yourself. You do have free will. This doesn’t mean go out and start a porn career, but it does mean that if you really want to, nobody should judge you for it. I know that is an idealistic thought, but you have to start somewhere otherwise nothing will change.
The world is waking up, slowly but surely. It is funny that I mention how one of the most honest conversations I ever had was with a porn star and one of the most defensive and hypocritical was with a minister. It just goes to show how you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover.